Today was Jenny's first day with Miss Sarah and Baby Wyatt.
Tonight, we saw the signs that we'd made a good decision.
1. Jenny didn't run right to me as soon as I arrived. While I loved this when it happened at the day care, I didn't really grasp that maybe this wasn't such a good thing. In the past weeks, Jenny had cried when we left her at day care. Today, she really didn't get upset. And so when I arrived, Jenny still seemed comfortable with the situation and the place - enough to stall putting on her shoes and leaving Miss Sarah in peace.
2. Jenny's behavior upon returning home was less violent today than it had been in the past. Usually our evenings are plagued with temper tantrums and hitting. Tonight - not so much.
3. One fuss after night-night.
4. I felt at peace. I got to come home, put my things away and take two moments for myself - just to breathe - before I went to get her. Those few moments allowed me to savor the minutes of playtime I had with her tonight. It gave me energy and patience to roll the ball back and forth with Jenny. It's so strange to have just three minutes make such an impact on the night.
5. Jenny came home expressing more words and she's only spent a day with Miss Sarah. When asked where we were today, Jenny said - clear as day - Mommy's at work or Daddy's at work or (even) Pawpaw's at work.
6. Jenny had no cookies today, no cheetoes, no chips. Today, my daughter ate healthy for the first weekday in months. Instead of filling her full of salt and sugar and stupid foods, my Jenny actually ate well today. Not perfect, because Mommy's still trying to figure out how to cook in a time crunch, but better - much better.
7. Despite Jenny's usual misgivings about change, she slept for 3 hours today during nap. One fuss - a reassurance from Miss Sarah - and she was out for three hours!
All day today, in the back of my mind, beneath all the other crud I was sifting through today, I had feared that I was going to find an incredibly ornery child when I picked her up. I worried that Miss Sarah would tell me she'd changed her mind, that I was going to have to return Jenny to that day care. I was terrified we'd have to go looking for yet another day care.
Instead, I got a picture that Jenny had colored, not one her teacher had done for her.
I got a detailed report on how Jenny's day had gone, instead of just the word - "fine"
I learned that Jenny actually ate blackberries today. And liked them, too
Jenny was incredibly helpful today, protective of Wyatt even, and so very gentle too.
Oh . . . and my child is a genius - that one I already knew, but it's nice to hear again.
And though I know that every day cannot and will not be like today. I know that there will be days when Jenny tries to push Wyatt down the stairs (hope not, but it could happen). I know there will be times when Jenny's just a booger because she's feeling sick or tired or hungry or is just have the toddler form of PMS.
I know her days will not always be perfect and I'm okay with that.
Because I think back to her first day of day care this year - when she fell down the concrete steps and face planted. When they didn't call me to tell be about it, because it "didn't show up until after her nap". I remember then thinking that this was a bad idea.
But this - today - felt nothing like that. Today, it felt . . . good.
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