Women Food and God - Geneen Roth
Somewhere along the way, I stopped and stalled out. I don't know when and I'm not completely sure how, but I did. One day I may have a conversation with my mother and figure it all out, but for now, I look to the future. How will I be a good mom to Jenny?
I last wrote about how Jenny wasn't sleeping and I complained about what the lack of sleep was doing to all of us. But then my 2nd cousin had her baby and I find myself thinking back to when Jenny was first born - those long - very long - nights when she wouldn't settle herself down to sleep. The 3 am feedings when Jenny and I would sit and rock in the chair in the living room. I remember how exhausted I was and yet how thrilled I'd been to even have had her in the first place.
And so I find myself wondering again what this blog should really be about. I've been spending so much time fretting over myself and the difficult things going on in it. I think I want to spend more time writing about Jenny and what she's been up to.
I am fairly sure that no one will be reading this blog any time soon - there are more scandalous and fanatic things going on in the world and I am just one little mother / teacher / wife in that cacophonous mess of blogs.
My most recent literary purchase has left me wanting to make sure that Jenny grows up with a healthy understanding of herself and who she is. I guess I can hope to show her this blog some day, tell her about who she was and what she did and maybe help her find a little of herself, in case (like me) she ever forgets.
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