Looking back

I know it's been a while since I wrote about how Jenny has been doing and I will long regret the things I've forgotten already. Still I will do the best I can to keep track of the things my adorable little girl has done since the last post back in December.

It's so funny to think we only got rid of the Binky two months ago. It feels like it's been gone for a lot longer. Jenny never wanted it back and continued to tell everyone we saw - grandma, the bagger at Kroger, and poor Miss Sarah who had to hear about it for several weeks afterward. Looking back, I realize what a huge step this BinkyBeGone thing was. Now, she is speaking more clearly and more fluently than before. She's starting to express her emotions more (this being both a good thing and a frightening one) and I'm not certain (again) that I'll be ready for her to grow up so much.

I watch Kraig and Wyatt and think - my God, was Jenny ever that way? It feels like she's grown up over night and without any influence from us at all. I continuously wonder if what we were as parents at that point was good enough, right enough, to help Jenny become a good person.

There are things that I regret. I regret teaching her to throw tantrums. Yup, that was me. I regret not researching every nutritional thing out there and then figuring out how to make the best of it with her - I mean, how do I know if she's eating too much Chef Boyardee - do we really ever know? And am I stunting her growth or her IQ potential by feeding this poor child hotdogs 4 nights a week?

And then there are things I'm fairly certain that I'm doing right. I hold her and tell her how much I love her. I give her high-fives for being a good helper. I tell her how proud I am of the things she does. I put her in time-out when she's being mean to her doll baby or when she hits. I require that she at least gets fruit and a proteing at every meal. I've introduced her to carrot sticks - not baby carrots, but the sticks because they taste better. And I've given her structure - a framework she can count on - strong and as solid as possible.