Warning: This post contains material not suitable for people who get squeamish - for any reason.
So, it's out now that we are in the process of getting pregnant again. Whaddya think?
In the meantime, I've managed to survive yet another preparatory procedure in the long line of what's coming.
Tuesday afternoon, I truck myself to the MOB building and wind my way around to find Dr. T's office. At this point, I'm still working on the stress of being late for the appointment because I had to go through the visitor lot three times to find a spot. When I left the appointment an hour later, there was hardly a person in the lot. Hmmmm . .. . interesting.
Anyway, so I'm mildly freaking out because I'm still reliving the biopsy that I'd had during the last visit; it went so swimmingly that I cried through most of it. This time, they warn me that I might want to take an Advil before I come because there could be some minor cramping associated with this procedure. Okay, at this point, I'm looking so stressed that the wonderful nurse doesn't take my blood pressure because she's sure, it'll be totally back to normal once the procedure is over. I agree with her and move on. I don't have blood pressure issues typically, but I must've looked just lovely at this point.
Anyway. . .
I'd told Tim that I didn't really need him at this one - I could do it on my own - but I'm so thankful for that man, I could run upstairs right now and just . . . well, I can't think of anything he'd really appreciate right now . . . oh wait ... . I'd run upstairs right now and bake oatmeal cookies for him . . . or do the dishes - that's about the equivalent of romance for most couples like us right now. My heart just melts when he does the dishes, or cooks, or cleans up after Jenny and her toys. Seriously, there's no sarcasm here - I love that stuff.
Anyway . . . I'm escorted to a room after I've weighed in and pregnancy tested (I bet that one came out negative) and I'm shown to my lovely table with my designer sheets. It is here that I procede to wait for years (okay, it was probably more like twenty minutes or something) while I mentally re-experience every pain I've ever felt in my entire life.
Then Tim steps up to bat and holds me and rubs my back and tells me that it's all going to be okay. Just a simple thing like his hand on my back I start to come back to normal. I tell him that I honestly don't remember this procedure from the last time - he assures me I've done this one before. I draw even more comfort from knowing that it must not be that bad if I really can't recall it. Plus, there are no chapters in my old book about this procedure, so it really must not have been that memorable. In case, we do this again - here it is, ME! That way you'll be less freaking out next time.
Anyway . . . by the time Dr. T, the nurse, the intern, and the fellow all make it into the room, I'm doing okay. . . mostly. I start talking and I don't really stop until everything is finished. This, I'm learning is the way to distract me from future procedures scaring the crud out of me. Remember this!
So let me hit the highlights for those of you who've never done this or are going to be doing this soon.
1. It was uncomfortable, but not unbearable. It's like remembering what the first day of cramps were like three months ago when I had my last set. It's strange to think, that if this thing works, I won't cycle again until sometime next year.
2. The trial transfer part was fairly easy. They put in a speculum (my very chilly friend) and then measure to the back edge of the uterus. It's kind of like a trial run the day before an interview to make sure you know where you're going on the important day - am I the only one who does that? It's a thin rubber catheter and I was chatting so much, I didn't really feel it.
3. The Saline Sonahystogram (pardon my atrocious spelling here) is a little different. They use a balloon to essentially seal off the uterus and then they watch (from the view of an internal ultrasound) what happens as they flood the uterus with 10ccs of saline. (It's about a teaspoon of fluid and just enough to make you feel like you wet yourself later.) They poke around while the uterus reacts (aka - cramps like crazy) and make sure everyone is still healthy and ready to carry a baby. They took pictures, so they'll be able to find everything when they go back later to sow the field. (I hope I didn't blink - I'd hate for them to have to re-take the pictures.)
4. My lovely nurse allows me to lie there for a few moments, to make sure I'm not going to pass out or something. Strangely, I'm doing okay. Don't get me wrong, it was not a pleasant experience, but in comparison to the biopsy, I'd do this 4 times over. (Biopsy was clear, by the way; not even any pre-cancer cells lurking down there.)
I go home get dinner and then go out with my neice to see The Hunger Games . By the time I get home and into bed, I'm not really even thinking about it. Hmmm...
So from this point, we're in a holding pattern. A few more tests and then I'll start the medications and my final cycle for this year.
Still having nightmares about delivery, though -
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