My Little Blind Girl

They say you should always be careful what you wish for because you might just get it. Well...I sheepishly reflect on the hopes and wishes I'd make for Jenny when I was pregnant with her, now because at least one of these is coming true.

When I was pregnant and knew we were having a girl, Tim and I talked about the type of child we didn't want her to become - one of those beautiful but self-centered little snobs that treated dorks like us with contempt and disdain. In all honestly, we wished for Jenny to be like us - dorks. While she would have to deal with the heartache of bullies and immature people, she would build a strength and a resilience that those "popular" kids just couldn't possibly have. Plus, no one dates dorks and therefore I wouldn't have to worry about teen pregnancy or drinking because she would be a dork. So we decided she would learn to play the tuba (Tim nixed that and said she should learn to play the drums, at least. Tom-boy was better than utter dork-hood), and she would be put into golf lessons, not dance and NEVER set foot outside the house in a cheerleading uniform unless it was Halloween.

In truth, I just didn't think I could handle having a popular child.

Jenny is beautiful and has the most gorgeous blue eyes I've seen in a long while. We're talking "Martina McBride" eyes. She has Tim's long eye lashes and a captivating smile. I knew we were doomed to have a popular child.

And while I lamented it, I learned to get used to it. Therapy and depression meds are expensive these days, so maybe my little girl would turn out like one of those well-balanced kids you hear about or read about. Maybe.

Then we got a comment from Jenny's preschool teacher that she was creepin' on her drawings at school. We started to notice how often we told Jenny to back away from the TV because "you're gonna burn your eyes out." After a short test from her pediatrician, we found out that Jenny was near-sighted. We confirmed it through Children's Hospital (a freak of scheduling made it possible for us to be seen before August) and ordered her glasses just today.

I'm sad because my little girl will be one of "those kids" who's had glasses since they were three. I'm sad because I wanted my little girl to have so few struggles with life that she could be happy. I'm sad because my little girl is now going to be a dork.

But I'm thankful, too. I'm thankful that she didn't inherit ALL of Tim's eye issues. I'm thankful that she will finally be able to see all the beauty of the world (especially the zoo, can't wait for that). And I'm thankful that I have her - dorkiness and all because of all that it took to get her here.

For now, I'm able to look forward to her glasses, which should be in, in about a week because they look totally cute on her. They are pink, a thin pink and they just make her face look so totally cute. She looks more intelligent and more precocious in them and I just love the way my little girl looks in them.

Oh and she's only a little more blind than I am - thank God.

So I suppose we should always be careful when we wish. My favorite musical has something about that and I'll close with a few lines so it'll get stuck in my head for the next few hours.

Careful the wish you make . . . wishes are children. Careful the path they take  . . . wishes comes true, not free . . .